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Joey Bagadonuts's avatar

So it's 1991 and I'm on the job and a citizen waves me down. I'm thinking, "OK, where do you need directions to." Nope. They say there's smoke coming from a house a block or two away. OK. I light up, and in the direction indicated when I get close, yep, I can see and smell smoke. I pull up to a two-story dwelling and there are three cars in the drive (it's about 3pm). And, there's smoke rolling out from the eaves. I call it in and let dispatch know I think the dwelling may be occupied. I go to a side door which is locked. I extend my ASP and bust out a door window but I can't reach the lock from the outside. Oh sure, now's a great time to have burglary-proof locks installed ya fuckin' idiots! So, I figure, what the hell....it works in the movies....and I step back a few feet and, BAM! I boot the door. Sure as shit, it collapses in on itself! Unfortunately, the smoke is so thick, I can't go in. Now I'm hearing sirens from the responding FD so I make my way to what I think is a bedroom window and I bust that out. Smoke immediately comes billowing out. So fast that my eyes immediately start burning from the heat and smoke. Now I am joined by a 3-4 firemen who have their SCBAs on and I am like, cool, let them handle it. Turned out, no one was home and the FD was able to get it knocked down pretty quick. About 90 minutes later, I'm back at the house writing the paper and I get paged overhead that I have a phone call. I pick up the blinking line and it's a BC (Battalion Chief) who had responded to the fire. His first words: "Hey, are you the dumbass who booted the side door open?" I was like, "What the fuck?" I said, "Yeah, I was first on the scene there. Why?" He says, "Go see the movie 'Backdraft,' that's why." I said, "The fuck is 'Backdraft."? He said, "Just go see it. And then next time you're first on scene of house fire, you'll think twice about booting a door. Fuckin' idiot" I had to get the last word so I said, "Well, if you lazy fucks hadn't been sound asleep in your recliners at 3 in the afternoon, maybe you would have gotten there quicker!" And I hung up.

OK, so I MAY have gone to see the movie and I MAY have realized that booting the door and busting out the bedroom window might not have been the best decision.

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Randje's avatar

I refuse to watch any Robert DeNiro movie. Same with Tom Hanks.

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